Reflections on the Eve of My BirthdayOctober 24 marks a day that is known in the United States as United Nations Day. The day celebrating the founding of the U.N. But in MY house, it's my birthday.
This year I turn 43. Most people my age are leaders in their industries. Halfway done on their mortgages on their homes, don't have kids still in elementary school. And probably get to take vacations that aren't including small kids that have snot bubbles on their faces 24/7.
But I'm lucky. I survived this long. I was one of those kids all through out my school career that got picked on and bullied. I had my books pushed out my arms, had the dreaded “Kick Me!” sign plastered on my back. I never wore the current fashions, my glasses caused a nickname that I hated, “Four Eyes!” and for the most part, it was hurtful to think that most weekends when others were out on dates or at parties, I was home studying or babysitting for one of a dozen families that lived in the small town I grew up in.
This past summer I went to my 25th High School reunion. I guess I wanted to prove the point that no matter how cruddy I was treated, I hadn't committed suicide. Oh sure, I've spent THOUSANDS in therapy, but I like who I am now. I do have my own style that signifies that journey I made from ugly assed duckling to not quite swan, but more like a Canadian goose in flight. Sure I still have to wear glasses, but I've learned how to use them to add mystery to my face instead of the librarian look I wore back in the 1980's.
I have a great group of friends that really don't know what I went through as a kid, I've kept that part of my life hidden and I only let one life long friend know the struggle I'm still enduring. I say ONE; because the rest of the misfits I went to school with and hung around with don't have anything to do with me any more. And that's fine. I guess we grew apart when we grew up.
But this year is different than last year. I've changed my spiritual path. I'm battling Ovarian Cancer for the second time. I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my second Grand-Baby, I'm making a point to spend more time with just me and my husband. He needs to know just how special he is to me and how much it means to have him in my life.
So as I sit here, with the sounds of my youngest singing in the bathtub, I reflect back on the past year. Yeah, I've had some ups and downs, but all in all, 42 was a good year. I bet that 43 will be even BETTER!!!
Published on 10/23/2011 in